anxious

98
98 days
that is approximately 2,352 hours
or 141,120 minutes
until every single one of our lives
change forever
Seniors.
S-E-N-I-O-R-S.
The class of 2016.
The class of the greatest high school football team 
in the history of Utah... that came in second place.
The class that lost an incredible friend their junior year. 
Hunter Dahl, may he rest in peace forever. 11-2-2014.
The class with the kindest student council.
The class of Frank Jackson, McDonalds All-American.
Ya, I was friends with him.

Less than 1 semester left.
That's all, that's all we have together.
Never again will we all live in the same area ever again in our life.

Some of us will be the greatest doctors to enter the medical field, 
or Americas next top model, 
or the alcoholic that can't keep the steady job.
I remember thinking that senior year was forever away as a sophomore.  
I remember feeling like it wasn't that big of a deal; 
that the seniors were just dramatic and needed to move on.  
Well, now it's here for me, and I'm beyond terrified. 

I'm afraid that regrets will haunt me.
Unsolved relationships will keep me locked in the past.
I'm afraid of the freshman fifteen.
I'm afraid of losing good friends, and growing apart from what's true.
That slowly, but surely, I will lose sight of what is important.
I'm afraid that my family will like that the house is quieter, 
and that there is an extra seat in the big white expedition 
and at the dining room table.
I'm afraid that my little sister will feel like she didn't even know me.
I'm afraid I won't know her.
I'm afraid I will miss all my siblings growing up 
and that they won't tell me about all their 
fears, first kisses, and heartbreaks.
I'm afraid of cooking.
I'm afraid of all my friends leaving for 2 years.
I'm afraid I will be married within the next 2 years.
I'm afraid to cry at every single mission farewell 
and experience heart break
every. single. week.
I'm afraid that my mom will no longer be my best friend.
I'm afraid my dad will hate the boy I love.
But more than anything
I'm afraid of growing up.