falls

what if our lips just... touched
and your bruises weren't there 
and the fear disappeared 
and love was more comfortable than nails on a chalkboard

because it isn't love unless it hurts 
at least that's what he told me
and please don't let my heart be alone when it was
always meant to bleed on yours

i've begun to believe 
that love is glassy eyes 
and pennies in pockets
that fear is painful truths
and long walks in utter silence

and my parents love me
and he fears me but i'm okay with just being okay
and i'm no longer afraid of the waterfall that drowned me 
and a heart that pounds harder

but i'm still wishing i was inside the earth 
because that pressure is nothing compared
to the pressure behind my eyes
and the eyes that stare right through my soul

i forgot what i was afraid of
and how to love through it all