the feels

i hate the feeling of my eyes watering right before i throw up
i hate the feeling of chalk on my hands
i hate the feeling of making a stupid comment of class
i hate the feeling of a fire hot face after that stupid comment
i hate the feeling of heartbreak
i hate the feeling of running my hand across a paper
i hate the feeling of my parents being disappointed in me
i hate the feeling of failure
i hate the feeling of pencil lead on the side of my hand
i hate the feeling of seeing blue and red flashing lights behind me
i hate the feeling of walking in tardy to a class
i hate the feeling of my thighs and stomach and arms and and and
i hate the feeling of fighting with a friend
i hate the feeling of a missed call from dad
i hate the feeling of swearing at my little brother
i hate the feeling of swallowing water down the wrong tube
i hate the feeling of being unprepared for a music lesson
i hate the feeling of bombing a test
i hate the feeling of
i hate the feeling of leaving high school behind
i hate the feeling of not leaving high school behind
i hate the feeling of not being good enough
i hate the feeling of a girl looking me up and down before we can even talk
i hate the feeling of no one laughing at a dumb joke
i hate the feeling of guilt
i hate the feeling of regret
i hate the feeling of pity